


Jump Rope/Clapping Rhymes for Snarry Fans

by Elfwreck



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Crack Fic, Filk, M/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-11
Updated: 2008-10-11
Packaged: 2017-10-02 02:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfwreck/pseuds/Elfwreck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine a group of Hogwarts schoolchildren, many years after the events of DH (your choice if that's "after the final chapter" or "after the epilogue"), with their enchanted jumprope that doesn't require anyone to hold the ends. Of course, they won't be saying Muggle jump-rope rhymes; they'll have their own. Muggle kids chant about Lizzie Borden and London Bridges. Wizard kids make up rhymes about their own heroes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jump Rope/Clapping Rhymes for Snarry Fans

**Author's Note:**

> Mock censorship; it's the only way to defeat it in the long run. If you really want to guarantee an idea will never die, convince an eight-year-old that it's funny. (Anyone who wants to actually convince 8-year-olds to use these is recommended to replace the word "fuck" with "kiss," wherever it happens to appear.)

_**Tune: Cinderella jump rope rhyme**_  
Snape and Harry  
Oh so wary  
Met outside the apothecary  
Got in a fight  
Then kissed for spite;  
How many times did they fuck that night?  
1, 2, 3, 4…

**_Tune: Oh Say Say Playmate _**  
Oh little Potter  
It's time to face your due,  
So bring your sidekicks two  
I'm waiting at the Floo  
Or use a Portkey  
To get to Voldemort  
And then we'll see who wins this wizard's war.

No no no Snape-mate;  
Not gonna fight today  
I've just found out I'm gay  
Your clothes are in the way.  
Don't have a Portkey,  
To hell with Voldemort  
'Cos our sex magic wins this wizard's war.

**_Tune: Miss Mary Mack_**  
Professor Snape, Snape, Snape  
Who wears a cape, cape, cape  
He captured Potter, Potter, Potter  
And wanted to rape, rape rape.  
He begged for Albus, Albus, Albus  
To send him a sign, sign, sign  
'Cos he's in Azkaban, Azkaban, Azkaban  
And out of his mind, mind, mind.  
They fucked so hard, hard, hard  
They scared the guard, guard, guard  
And they escaped, scaped, scaped  
To the Hogwarts' yard, yard, yard.


End file.
